It was my last roast dinner before heading back to Budapest to overthrow Orban get my brand new very very very very very very very shiny teeth, and we headed to The Rose in Battersea.
And after two very good roast dinners the preceding weeks, what could go wrong?
Aha we’ve finally found out the real intention of the Donald Musk government.
It isn’t to cut government spending (record spending this February gone).
Nor is it to bring peace to Ukraine within 24 hours (I’m soooooo certain Putin will sign a peace deal any minute now).
Middle East peace is sorted though, right?
So what is the real purpose of the Donald Musk government? Selling Tesla’s…nearly as much as institutions are selling stock in Tesla.
Some people say that a man with multiple bankruptcies, 26 sexual assault allegations, one civil rape conviction, two impeachments, a string a court cases, a foundation shut down due to the illegal use of charitable funds and a university shut down after allegations of fraud, wouldn’t be employable.
But I could see a future as a used car salesman. Hey, even Ted Cruz looks interested…
The Rose Garden
The Rose was somewhere I discovered, I think by trawling social media – and it was a pub I’d never heard of, with a roast dinner that looked potentially rather good. It went on the to-do list.
In fact, The Rose is two pubs – there is The Rose in Vauxhall and The Rose in Battersea. I’m not really sure why we went for Battersea over Vauxhall, especially when it is a 25 minute walk from the nearest train station, and I had somehow tripped up and fallen on my big toe the day before, meaning I had a slightly painful step, which is definitely not funny.
The Rose definitely had questionable attempts at Instagram-styling – the font and the flowers felt so like I needed my blonde extensions back in, though it did make a change from the various shades of teal that most pubs are painted in.
Plus inside.
PINK.
I really hope that artwork cost less than a share in Tesla does right now.
Also inside it was really quiet – like, more staff than customers levels of quiet, which concerned me both from the perspective of independent business struggle, but also my struggle to get a good roast dinner. That said…I’ve had two very good roast dinners in a row.
Guns And Roses
On the menu was beef at £24.00, chicken at £22.00, leg of lamb at £24.50, pork belly at £23.00 or the vegan wellington at £16.50.
I didn’t fancy chicken, beef I cannot eat due to the lack of teeth situation (if you see me only eating roast dinners at steak restaurants next month, you know why) so it was a choice of pork belly or leg of lamb, and pretty much a coin toss so I went for pork belly – thinking maybe for the first time in 2025 it won’t come burnt.
A standard 15-20 minutes elapsed before our roasts arrived:
And if you want to see anything other than a Yorkshire pudding:
Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Starting with the, oooh, carrot which was nicely roasted, a little on the soft side with some seasoning.
Next up was a tiny bit of broccoli, but it was so tough that you needed both upper and lower teeth for this – I’m told it was nice though.
The hispi cabbage was soft and silky feeling, with a little charring too.
There was a bit of swede mash which I wasn’t so bothered about, but the celeriac (I think) puree was utterly glorious, again a silky smooth used Tesla salesman vibe comes to mind, creamy and luxurious too.
Worth noting that the vegetables were generally nicely seasoned too – seems so strange that some pubs/restaurants just totally overlook the most simplest of things.
There were multiple small roast potatoes – one of those were I couldn’t quite tell if they’d seen an oven or a deep fat fryer, but either way they were pretty good. Reasonably fresh, often crispy on the outsides if not quite with the chuffed up outsides that would make me squeal.
Everything’s Coming Up Roses
The Yorkshire pudding had been done some time earlier, and was cooler than ideal. But it had probably been made the same day (small mercies) and was one of the best not-fresh Yorkshire puddings I’ve been served, I even ate it all, despite the dried up nature of the upper part of it.
The pork belly wasn’t burnt! Yay, another success (see reviews of The George or The Hare & Billet if you don’t get my reference).
And apart from not being burnt it was pretty good. A little overdone at the edges and not quite as gloriously gluttonous as pork belly can be at its best, but it was tender, it was definitely juicy and the crackling was pretty crispy too.
Definitely more winning than losing.
Finally, the gravy was an actual gravy. Perhaps there was some granules or Oxo going on – there was a bit of a salty aftertaste, but also it was more complimentary than not.
The Rose
Gosh, is this a third very good rose dinner in a row?
It is indeed – did you note the lack of moaning? Are you missing the moaning?
Sure there were things that could have been improved – I’ve had nicer gravy, I’ve had more gluttonous pork belly, and the yorkie was a bit dried out.
Yet it all came together really well – nothing was less than good enough, the roast potatoes were really enjoyable, the vegetables all really good – especially the celeriac puree, the pork belly was tasty too. Plus…seasoning.
One accomplice had the beef, really enjoyed the roast even if it wasn’t his favourite piece of beef ever – and scored the roast an 8.50. My other accomplice, who is probably as hard to please as I am, scored her pork belly an 8.20.
I was really happy with my roast dinner – sure it had a few minor imperfections but there was no real complaints, and plenty of winning – my score is an 7.97 out of 10. Possibly I might have scored it slightly higher without a £1.05 for extra gravy. This is nothing more than a tax on northerners. And why £1.05?
Oh and the apple juice was a bit naff.
I should be back in two weeks, though that is dentistry-dependent. Hurry up Hungary Teeth.
OMG the boycotting is going too far now.
Who is she?
Summary:
The Rose, Battersea
Station: Clapham Junction
Tube Lines: National Rail, Northern, Overground
Fare Zone: Zone 1
Price: £23.00
Rating: 7.97
Loved & Loathed
Loved: Good vegetables, especially the creamy celeriac puree, good roast potatoes and juicy pork belly.
Loathed: Well the yorkie had been left to dry a bit, the gravy had a slightly salty aftertaste...but I'm being quite picky. Oh and they charged £1.05 for extra gravy.
Where now, sailor?
Random roast review: 10 Best Roast Dinners In London 2024
