Want me to lie about how amazing your roast dinner is, in exchange for a complimentary meal?

Then fuck off and stick an undercooked roast potato up your bum.

But if you want to jump the review queue, are confident enough in your gravy-making abilities and psychologically capable of accepting the same treatment that everyone else does – warts and all, and nobody has yet escaped without any criticism, then sure, drop me an e-mail with your proposal and I might prioritise reviewing your venue. Feel free to chuck in a quadruple vodka, a stripper and some crystal meth too.


1. The review would be anonymous. Happy to introduce myself after but not before.
2. It would be a Sunday of my choosing and you would not know beforehand.
3. If the roast dinner, or any part of it, is crap – I will be saying so.
4. Reviews are released in the week after, Wednesday ish.
5. I do social posts on the day, but do not reveal where I’ve been until my review is written. At which point there are more social posts.
6. The review would probably also feature some nonsense, weirdness, rudeness and Brexit. Maybe check my writing style first.

The integrity of my reviews is critical. I don’t care if I never, ever receive a free sprout – I just want this to be the go-to resource for roast dinners in London, and perhaps even a source of inspiration for those in the food industry supplying your Sunday lunch – and this cannot happen if my readers, who are my raison d’être, cannot trust the integrity of my writing.

But hey, if you are feeling brave, drop me a line.

I don’t blag, I don’t care about free stuff, I am most certainly not a marketing type person – I just want to put a smile on people’s faces, help people find the best roast dinners in London and hopefully help a few lesser-known venues get noticed too.

And if anyone, I mean anyone (well, except racists, rapists and communists), fancies any form of collaboration – maybe a fellow blogger fancies doing a joint roast dinner review special, or hell, maybe one of you just wants some company one lunch…then e-mail me. I might tell you where to go, but I’ll try and do it nicely.

Also, if anyone knows of somewhere that I have to add to the list – especially if it is doing something unusual or imaginative, or in an unusual setting…or just something that’ll make for a great adventure (and story), then do get in touch.

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