Roast Dinners in London

You can create in life. You can destroy in life. Welcome to the roast dinner review of The Tavern On The Hill in Walthamstow.

Destruction might be fun, but I prefer to create. This blog about roast dinners in London, is my main creation (sorry, ladies who want babies).

Others create to point out destruction:

And then others still try to create the destruction of destruction.

Oh but won’t someone think of “poor me” oyster-eating man of the people, Nigel Farage who has been set-up by evil climate activists.

😂😂😂 the “not listening” excuse usually gets lame st about 6years old!#FarageForeignDonorsapple.news/AgcJqj0YdSyC…

— FabPaule (@fabpaule.bsky.social) 2026-09-05T19:05:00.142Z

Though clearly it was AI. AI that someone else created that meant two people working for him quit their jobs.

Obviously he wasn’t listening. Possibly it was a hologram of Nigel Farage. Poor, Nigel.

Too hungover to think of headings

And then others still destroy pork belly. Ahhhhhh.

Speaking of creation, it was the regular accomplice’s birthday. Said regular accomplice wanted to celebrate her birthday by having a roast dinner in Walthamstow. Except we’ve reviewed everywhere in Walthamstow that could be decent, or at least we thought we had.

Initially she suggested going back to Renegade Brewery, which was reviewed a few years ago but now has a new chef/kitchen involved.

A re-review isn’t out of the bounds.

However, this website is not Summer Roast Dinners in London. There is no Summer Roast Dinners in London spin-off, unlike Roast Dinners Around The World. Roast dinners have roast potatoes, not new potatoes.

Whilst I would have gone and then just caught up on housework on the Monday morning instead of writing a review, but then I had a suggestion of The Tavern On The Hill via Threads, the Google reviews checked out as decent, so we had a decision.

I am too tired to think of headings. Dizstruxshon.

The Tavern On The Hill has that flat-roof pub taken over by trendies vibe inside, painted cream and maroon, velvet-backed chairs, icky toilets and the odd splash of disco – a pink mirrorball or a sequinned lamp.

Also with two gardens, both at front and back – given the final warm days of summer vibes it would have been pleasant to sit outside.

For it was rather stuffy and hot inside.

Options on the menu were chicken supreme at £23.00, pork belly at £23.00, beef rump at £27.00 or a veggie wellington at £20.00. Extra gravy was £1.00 – which I ordered because nowhere serves enough gravy. Except The Tavern On The Hill actually did.

I went for the pork belly, mostly because I had a pretty delightful hangover. How creative of me.

Once I moved it around so you could see what I had on the plate, I had this:

There was no hill though

Starting with the carrots which were very soft, arguably soggy. Roasted – not on the same day.

Savoy cabbage was reasonably plentiful and buttery, if a tad watery. And there was a tiny floret of broccoli – one crunch and it was done.

Also I had two chunks of (I’m fairly sure) butternut squash, which didn’t massively taste of much, and again had perhaps been roasted the day before.

You know what else might have been roasted the day before?

Of course, though they were so tired and crud that suggesting they had been cooked the day before might be too complimentary, one was even quite grey inside. Shit. Utterly destructive shit.

Want to know what else was destroyed?

Yorkshire puddings, destroyed by hours under the heat lamp since 2016.

And probably long before that. I’ve seen tastier-looking bags of cement.

One of my accomplices ordered cauliflower cheese on the side – it was burnt, you will probably not be too surprised to read, but actually it was banging away from the burntness.

I’d rather have dinner with Nigel Farage than eat this shit again

So you’ve already seen the pork belly. I wish I could unsee it.

My table neighbour acutally had crispy crackling, but my portion was just rubber.

It wasn’t enjoyable at all. The meat was tough and chewy, what should have been the crackling was rubbery, and it was far too salty. Maybe I should start a Summer Roasts In London spin-off?

There was a large group of us, so we had all the meats (and non-meats), hell someone even had a burger but wisely sat as far away from me as she could. I’m told the beef was excellent though.

Finally, the gravy was actually pretty decent – not good enough to bring me any good vibes after what else had been served up on the plate of destruction that I’d eaten, quite rich, probably red wine influenced.

The Tavern On The Hill

I hope you are still reading as the story is about to take a twist.

We were a large group – the first person I asked was my vegan accomplice who disdained it as soggy pastry with lentils and unrecognisable stuff – yet gave it a 6. Generous.

The person opposite me, scored her pork belly a 3 out of 10. Felt right to me.

But then I asked the next person, who said “it was really good”, 8 out of 10. WHAT? Who are you? She doesn’t like gravy so maybe we just dismiss this.

I asked the next person, who had the pork belly, like me – and scored it an 8.2. WHAT?!!! The next person, who ate the beef (and did look much nicer than the pork belly) – 8. The harshest critic on the table gave it a 6.5. My regular accomplice a 7.4.

Ehhhhhhhhhhh?

But there were more people to ask – a disappointed but polite 6, and two more scores of 5 and 4 out of 10, who were not quite as scathing as I, but on that track.

I don’t recall ever having such a spread of opinions – though actually it wasn’t just different opinions but different experiences. Clearly some people (including me) got last week’s roast potatoes, others got the same day’s. Some people got undercooked pork belly, others got a half decent attempt with crackling. Some people got butternut squash puree, others roasted butternut squash. Some got cabbage, others kale.

Some people had a creation. Others had a destruction. I never, ever, leave meat, but I did.

So basically what I’m telling you is that if you come to The Tavern On The Hill, you might get a really shit roast dinner, or you might get a really good roast dinner.

Unfortunately for their place in the League Of Roasts, I got a really shit one. You might argue that I should take an average score but I haven’t done that for any of the other 387 reviews that I’ve rated.

The drinks were on target at The Tavern On The Hill – there was a reasonable selection of pale ales, etc – including a couple from Signature. I heard compliments for the rose wine, and my regular accomplice had one of the best espresso martinis of her life.

Service was a bit more mixed, some people were way more jolly than others, and I had to start clearing the plates away long after we’d all finished, as the flies were annoying us.

Anyway. Onto my score. So the roast potatoes were utter crud, the yorkie inedible thanks to hours under a heat lamp, for possibly the first time ever I didn’t eat nearly half the meat – the pork belly was so chewy and un-rendered. I didn’t mind the gravy, or the cooked-yesterday carrots.

So my score is a very lowly 3.25 out of 10. It really was dire. Sorry, my roast dinner was dire. Others had really good roast dinners though. Worth rolling the dice? I did quite like the pub…

No plans for the coming Sunday yet, except that I’ll be travelling back from Hull again. I feel like I need a Sunday off. But I know I have a duty.

One final point – there was no hill.

Oh and one more point, one of my accomplices did this:

SEND HELP. And not just to poor Nigel.