It was a weekend of apprehension, and a visit to The Rosy Hue in Elephant & Castle.
We had complications – firstly we needed somewhere showing the football, even though the league was over in February. Also we wanted to do a pub quiz.
Of course, we required a roast dinner, but adding to the complications, two guests were unable to arrive until late afternoon…aaaaarrrggghh the perils of a late afternoon roast dinner.
One guest was even visiting from US of A. Yes, we do think Trump is doing a wonderful job, as evidenced by the stock market when it knew Trump was coming.
The other element of apprehension was the likelihood of watching my football team,Hull City AFC, get relegated the day before.
If we won, we stayed up, lost we’d go down, a draw then it depended on the other teams. And though we’ve fluked a couple of wins recently, we’ve looked as tired as your average 5pm roast dinner that’s been hanging around a kitchen all day (and quite possibly since the night before).
Rosey Ball
Last season we finished 7th in the league, far outperforming expectations, had some great players, played some nice football at times, though also it was quite plodding – we could pass it around at the back for a good 10 minutes. But then other times we played free-flowing football, especially against the better teams.
Yet the fans moaned. Yep, same city that has just voted in a Reform Plc mayor. Yep, my eyes are rolling.
Alas, our owner also didn’t like the style of play, and sacked the manager. Then employed someone promising to give us “heart attack football”. There were no heart attacks, the football was worse, we sold our good players, then sacked the so-called football manager when we went bottom of the league.
All I’m saying, is be careful of what you wish for.
Oh and be careful of 5pm roast dinners.
Curiously, given this weekend I was visiting The Rosy Hue, the style of football under the manager who was wrongly sacked, was known by Hull City fans as Rosey Ball.
Nothing Is Coming Up Roses
The Rosy Hue is a fairly new-fangled pub in the bottom of one of the new-fangled blocks of flats, built for people like me who have no intention of ever going in a fucking Wetherspoons, or whatever studiously undecorated since the 1970’s pubs that smell of urinal soap are still around the area.
These kind of pubs can be quite soulless, but actually there was quite a bit of atmosphere in there – and it was busy too.
And yes, it served roast dinners all day. They show the football, and they had a quiz. Oh and to top it off, they even had some craft beer on the menu. Alas, mostly only on the menu as they’d run out of the Drop Project, then we drank them out of Deya and Jubel (pushing the definition of craft beer here, but some places advertise themselves as selling craft beer when they only sell Neck Oil, so hey).
Options on the menu were chicken at £20.00, sirloin of beef at £22.00, pork belly at £20.00 or a vegetable wellington at £18.00.
I definitely didn’t trust The Rosy Hue enough to order beef, so it was a choice between chicken and pork belly – I went for the latter, mostly because I hadn’t had it for a few weeks.
At the first attempt, they brought the Swingers roast, but announced it as “pork belly”, which I accepted, and we turned the second pork belly away as I was the only one who ordered it.
Until we realised, then corrected it. Oh, and we scored the first goal – 1-0 to Hull City, we might actually not get relegated!
Rosie Posie Roast Dinner Hokey Cokey
For the next attempt, they brought back the pork belly roast dinner, but took it away again when I asked for more gravy – everyone else’s plate was full of gravy, mine was only half (though more gravy than most places).
And then we were ready to eat our scary late afternoon roast dinner.
So, starting with the carrots which had definitely been cooked quite a bit earlier – limp and chilly was the vibe.
The cabbage was alright, I guess but none of us especially enjoyed it. And Portsmouth equalised, 1-1. Thankfully Luton are losing, and if scores stay the same, we stay up.
We ordered cauliflower cheese, and I know from experience that I really DO NOT NEED CAULIFLOWER CHEESE. “Anyone fancy some cauliflower cheese?”. “Ooooh yeah, let’s order two bowls”.
Of course, we barely ate one bowl between 6 of us – it was sloppy mushy goo, absolutely no crunch or texture to the cauliflower. There was at least a cheese flavour.
I really DO NOT NEED CAULIFLOWER CHEESE. Ever.
Whispers Among The Roses
The roast potatoes were a bit of a mixture of semi-grimness, though definitely worse than they would have been at midday. One was particularly grim, and quite possibly from the Sunday before, others were just various shades of quite tired, quite crispy and quite soft. I will have more offensive roasties.
I didn’t mind the Yorkshire pudding – sure it tasted of nothingness, but normally they taste of nothingness. It was actually quite fresh for 5pm, and had a good structure.
The pork belly was actually quite banging. The crackling was by far the highlight of the meal, actually gorgeous, with the perfect balance between crisp and goo. The pork itself could easily have become pulled pork, bar one small part which was dried out. There isn’t much to compliment – but they really did get the pork belly spot on. Luton are losing 5-1.
The chicken was respectable enough, though tasted quite strongly of tarragon. Luton are losing 5-2. I’m advised that the beef seemed like it was out of a packet from Tesco and plonked onto the plate. Luton are losing 5-3 – uh-oh.
Finally, the gravy was pretty good – a thick gravy, though not with that much flavour. Personally, as a northerner, thickness of gravy is of more value than flavour, but life would be boring if we all thought the same. Though perhaps more appreciation of facts could be useful in this world.
Thankfully, Portsmouth decided to play the aforementioned Rosey Ball, and passed it around without looking like scoring. We were as knackered as a roast potato at 5pm. We stayed up.
The Rosy Hue
All wasn’t rosy in The Rosy Hue but I did have banging pork belly and thick gravy.
Alas, others around the table didn’t have such rose-tinted glasses, especially those eating the beef.
The carrots were as limp and chilly as Donald Trump’s erection, the cabbage bang average, cauliflower cheese mushy and roast potatoes various forms of tired.
Scores around the table were a 5.00, another 5.00, another 5.00, a 5.60 and a 6.20.
I’m actually a bit more positive because of the excellent pork belly, and my score is a 6.52 out of 10 – though had I ordered the chicken or the beef, I expect I would be in the mid-high 5’s instead.
Next weekend I’m away again, visiting the folks back in Reform Plc land, though they are taking me to a restaurant that Rachel Reeves recently visited. Make of that what you will.
Summary:
The Rosy Hue, Elephant & Castle
Station: Elephant & Castle
Tube Lines: Bakerloo, Northern
Fare Zone: Zone 1
Price: £20.00
Rating: 6.52
Loved & Loathed
Loved: The pork belly and cracking were banging - crackling had the perfect mix of crunch and goo. Gravy was thick too.
Loathed: Vegetables were a bit wank, carrots chilly, roasties pretty tired and stale.
Where now, sailor?
Random roast review: Missing Roast Potatoes
If your requirement is just for a roast, far superior alternatives nearby are the Old Red Lion on Kennington Park Road, and the Prince of Wales in Cleaver Square.
Yeah our requirements were a bit complex this time! Both your suggestions look good, Old Red Lion is actually already on my to-do list, so hopefully will get to it this year.