
The Naughty Neighbour @ The Lawrence Arms, Brockley
Published: 22 September 2026
NSFW: Warning - this review may not be safe for work due to front page of a porn mag but pretty soft going.
Time to get horny about the concept of broccoli in Brockley, with a roast dinner at The Naughty Neighbour @ The Lawrence Arms.
You know, in a parallel universe, I am an erotic magazine reviewer.

Fresh twats.
Or perhaps more likely I led a referendum campaign to kick roast potatoes out of roast dinners because not every single roast potato in my life had been to my liking.
And here I am now moaning about roast dinners without any potaoes. Just less food and higher prices. And probably more peas.
A bit like (do I really have to call him Sir) Jim Ratcliffe, who campaigned to make the UK pooer by leaving the European Union, then actually made the UK poorer by moving to Monaco, and now…

Stale twat.
Grumpy old men moaning. That’s me in 30 years, isn’t it? ROAST DINNERS/PORN MAGS WERE BETTER IN MY DAY.
Are porn magazines still a thing?
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Apparently AI looks for your post headers to tell what content is under it, before deciding whether to quote from it. Hmmm.
Anyway, after two crap roasts in a row, I had booked somewhere different to The Naughty Neighbour but the most recent review of a roast dinner on Google Maps said “…the Sunday roast was frankly shocking”. So I span the random number generator again and it came up with The Naughty Neighbour, which my regular accomplice had recommended to me, by just sending the name of the pub some months ago.
No context, no recommendation and she didn’t remember why, or even sending it. But hey, it looked pretty decent.

The Lawrence Arms is a nice looking, kinda community focused pub – more pub vibes at the front, with a restaurant room seating about 30 ish people at the back, some seating both out the front with a little sun trap of a garden out the back.
Somehow I even managed my photograph of the garden to look like AI had put a pint of beer on the table.

Speaking of beer, there was some excellent beer on offer, and a good variety too.
I liked the east coast IPA that they brew themselves as Southey Brewery Co, though that was eclipsed by a stunning Verdant beer – no shame to be eclipsed by arguably the best brewery in the country, though you could ask me next week and I might tell you Track, Ponoma Island, Time & Tide, etc etc are the best brewery.
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So you’ll have gathered that The Lawrence Arms is my kind of vibe – but is it worth a visit for a roast dinner?
And will I actually get broccoli in Brockley?

On the menu was rump cap of beef for £23.00 or rump cap of beef for £23.00. OK, there was a vegetable and mushroom wellington for £19.50, and I will one year have another vegetarian roast dinner. This is not the year.
So I went for the beef. Which I’ve been disdaining since my Wagyu pilgrimage to Japan earlier this year, but maybe I’m just about over it. OK, I’m not, and I had some stunning Japanese fried chicken at Yaga Izakaya on Saturday night. Put that on your list also. Maybe. If you ever take any notice of me.
It was one of those plate it up yourself affairs – veg shared between two of us:


Shall we start with…the broccoli! Yes, we had broccoli in Brockley. I assume this is a local by-law, and if it isn’t then I’ll introduce it when I campaign to be Mayor Of London.
Said tenderstem was crunchy and slightly charred.
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Carrots were too, those little Chantaney carrots, roasted with what I thought was honey though the menu suggested sesame.

The parsnip was sadly a bit chewy and dry – I still think too early in the season for parsnips to be any good.
Also, I wasn’t keen on the red cabbage. This is a personal taste thing, but I’m not a fan of the whole winter spice thing on a roast dinner, appreciate some people are – and this was very pungently done. If you love the red cabbage winter spice thing, you’d love this.
There were 5 small roast potatoes each. Freshly cooked, pretty crispy on the outside and soft on the inside – though alas a little bit on the dry side. I do stress, much better than the London average.

The Yorkshire pudding was pretty good – again freshly cooked, not sat under a heat lamp for hours/days, plus mercifully small. I could finish the whole thing. I was happy eating the whole thing – it was just a well constructed, crispy yorkie.
Holy crap, it costs £10,000 to stand for London Mayor. Might just have to persuade Count Binface to introduce the broccoli in Brockley by-law.
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It’s always pleasing when the star of the show is the meat – and it very much was at The Naughty Neighbour. 3 slices of really flavoursome beef, it kind of tasted like a really good beef burger, quite rare and the fat was gorgeous – if the fat (and only the fat) was a little chewy in places.
Finally, at least in terms of this plate was the gravy, which was quite on the thin side – apparently beer gravy, and though I had occasional tones of beer, it tasted more like red wine gravy to me.
Also it had tones of cinnamon on it – I couldn’t tell if the red cabbage was still infecting the gravy (or possibly my sanity), or the cinnamon ish flavour was actually from the gravy.
So we had dessert also.

I don’t often do dessert as I’d rather spend the calories and money elsewhere, plus also I still need to lose the belly and I don’t want to do the ‘Jaro in case it stops me eating roast dinners. However, I was in one of those moods.
It was only ever going to be the dark chocolate pudding.

The chocolate pudding itself was utterly glorious, it reminded me of the chocolate pots you get in a Parisian restaurant in terms of just how sexy the chocolate was. Holy.
Good quality vanilla ice cream, and the honeycomb was crispy – yet also dissolved in a really satisfying way.
The Naughty Neighbour
This isn’t the best roast dinner itself ever, but holy cow there is a lot going for The Naughty Neighbour, and we had an excellent afternoon here.
Service was really fun and welcoming, the guy serving the food had a joke or two for us along the way, the guy at the bar was good at beer recommendations, even if I did then overrule and go for a Verdant later.
Great beer selection, good wine (cheap too – £6.50 ish for a glass), a gorgeous little venue with a sun trap of a garden.
The OMG dessert, plus I enjoyed the roast dinner. The beef and carrots probably being the highlights, the roast potatoes in the nearly category – only the chewy parsnip was disappointing, though I disliked the red cabbage from personal taste perspective.
My score for the roast dinner is a 7.38 out of 10. But my accomplice said it was the best beef of 2026, and some of the best gravy, and scored it an 8.40. And told me off for scoring so low.

A 7.38 is a good score, as it was a good roast dinner. Please take this as a recommendation – this is a superb little venue with so much going for it. And heck, maybe I’m wrong and it deserves to be in the 8’s.
Gosh it’s nice to be writing about a great experience again after the last two gash roasts. No roast next week as I’ll be on a flight to Montenegro for a long overdue holiday – I shall be back the Sunday after.
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Summary:
The Naughty Neighbour @ The Lawrence Arms, Brockley
Rating: 7.38
Tube Station: Honor Oak Park
Tube Lines: Overground
Price Paid: £23.00
Year of Visit: 2026
Loved & Loathed:
Loved: Beef was pretty excellent, nice flavoured. Chocolate dessert was gorgeous. And the whole vibe of the place, beer garden, great beers, friendly service with jokes...great day out.
Loathed: Roast potatoes a bit dry inside, parsnip chewy and dry. Red cabbage too pungent for me, but personal tastes on that one.
Get Booking:
Rate this place from My Roasts.
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