The Leytonstone Tavern, Leytonstone

Skip The Nonsense

Life is all about trying new things – and I’d never been to Leytonstone. So here I was, having a roast dinner at The Leytonstone Tavern.

Life is also about failing things. Notably, for me, the long missions for roast dinners that living in Harrow entails – two of my accomplices this weekend were driving down from the midlands, and it took them less time to get to Leytonstone than it took me to get there from Harrow.

Oh the irony of The Leytonstone Tavern being on HARROW Road.

Still, at least I’m not the Bank Of England – otherwise I’d be arguing that walking to the tube station is sufficient to complete a roast dinner review.

I appreciate the meme is already out of date but you get my drift.

It was only spring when they forecasted inflation would peak at 9%, and therefore put interest rates up by 0.25%. Ooh, that’ll stop inflation. Then in May, they forecasted inflation would peak at 10%, and therefore put interest rates up by 0.25%. Ooh, that’ll slow inflation down. Then in June (I think), they forecasted inflation would peak at 11%, and therefore put interest rates up by 0.25%. Ooh, that’ll…do nothing also. There’s a pattern here, isn’t there?

Now they are predicting inflation to reach 13% so they’ve put interest rates up 0.50%. Ooh, I wonder if that will do anything?

Leyton Rock

“Stick to roast dinners…think ya Lineker or summat”.

Well, I guess, here I am, in 2022 – and about to pay under £20 for a roast dinner once more. Maybe inflation isn’t really a thing? Maybe we are just imagining it?

Nothing to see here. Bank Of England perfectly credible. Yes I am just a roast dinner reviewer (albeit with a degree in Business Studies and Economics…yah me talented).

“Stick ta roast dinners ya moron”.

Fine. Instead of inflation going to the moon, how about roast dinners going to the moon?

So. Leytonstone. I want to buy an over-priced crappy new build in Walthamstow but I cannot find any that I like, albeit that I’ve not actually been to see any, I’m just sat here on the internet waiting for them to miraculously find me whilst I moan about roast dinners, oh and not being able to find a flat.

But sometimes I see them in Leytonstone. In my price range. Leytonstone definitely has character…and characters. Though I’m not sure I’d enjoy walking down that high street in the dark and rain…if it ever rains again.

Leyton Coal

The Leytonstone Tavern is set slightly off the high street, on the confluence of some local streets. It has a fairly sizeable outdoor terrace, alas not in the sunshine – though maybe that is a good thing, and in the distance you can just see B&M.

Inside The Leytonstone Tavern is actually rather gorgeous. And yes, I actually took a photograph of inside.

Well, I loved the decor anyway – a mixture of contemporary with classic pub vibes. I was slightly worried that I’d booked a table for 16 people instead of 6, given how large the table was – and they were exceptionally hopeful that my weight loss that I’ve vaguely been attempting this previous week had proven remarkable, given how many chairs they squeezed in around the table.

Not only was the decor gorgeous, but the beer menu was gorgeous too. Yes, they have a beer menu. And yes, I took a photograph.

The Neckstamper Brewing and Pretty Decent Beer Co beers were particularly enjoyable.

And yes, I remembered to take a photograph of the roast dinner menu too. I know, a bit of a photograph overload, and I’ve yet to bore you with all my Dalle-Mini photographs of weird things eating roast dinners that have been stuck on my desktop for weeks – I was going to do a Dalle-Mini special a few weeks ago, alas some balding blonde twat usurped my plans so I had to bang on about him again. And fucking Brexit.

Options varied from chicken supreme (which I’ve only just realised is chicken breast with skin on…I’d always assumed it was some kind of trendy thing from the 70’s with sauce), beef topside, pork belly or lamb rump – priced between £16.50 and £23.00. I went for the pork belly at £18.50 – as it is difficult to turn down the belly.

We also ordered some cauliflower cheese dishes to share…because now I’ve realised how many calories roast dinners have, I might as well also order some more calories.

Leyton Pebble

Our roasts took around 40 minutes to arrive – perhaps because two people ordered starters – or perhaps they just take their time. Which tends to increase the chances that the roast potatoes are freshly cooked, so mostly this is good. But I was hungry.

Oh, wrong photo.

Interesting that on the last one it looks like she’s eating her iPhone.

Right, starting with the carrots, which you cannot see, but hey – I’ve photographed menus and stuff, so I’m not totally Bank Of Englanding it.

There was a few sliced, and roasted carrots, with a hint of honey – pleasant.

Also, there was a slice of sweet potato, which did feel a bit out of place, also roasted (I think) in honey. I am mostly game for different vegetables on a roast dinner, and I think sweet potato could work…but it just didn’t quite fit here, sweet potato roasted in something sweet…hmmm.

Hang on, I know what we need…

Look, my readership figures are down. Lingerie models are normally the solution. You are actually going to share this one, aren’t you? Steven?

Oh and hello to everyone at Facebook’s London office, by the way. Good to hear you agree on Blacklock. Yes I am a half-decent software engineer. No I don’t want a job.

Leyton Gravel

I really enjoyed the broccoli – I know it is kind of ordinary, but it’s actually quite a magic food. Also it had a buttery taste and a hint of truffle too – so they’d made it not ordinary.

The cabbage was similar, a little more crunch to it, and somehow I noticed the truffle flavour more and the butter less. Decent.

We went against recent refusals and ordered cauliflower cheese, for £6.50 a dish – to share between two. It was more mushy cauliflower with cheese on top – seemingly Red Leicester too. I’d argue that Red Leicester is wrongly frowned on as being too basic a cheese – it is a basic cheese yet there is something glorious about it.

However, it did seem a tad odd to go with cauliflower. I appreciated the diversity – and the chives, but it didn’t quite work in a way that I hoped it would. Decent enough though.

The two roast potatoes were huge. I assume that the chef couldn’t be bothered to cut them. Normally, huge roast potatoes would strike fear into me but actually these were perfectly crispy on the outside – impressively so. Alas, mine anyway, in the inner core were dry. I stress 75% of each roast potato was superb, it was the inner core – and hence the hugeness of the potato that let them down a tad. Those with slightly less huge roast potatoes were 100% in love with them.

The Yorkshire pudding had spent too long under a heat lamp, or some other method that allowed it to dry out. Gravy helped soften it to make it somewhat palatable, I’ve had many worse – but it needs to be fresher than this.

Advertised as crispy was the pork belly, and I can assure you that this was crispy. And a little tough. And a little overcooked – or at least had also spent too long in the kitchen, waiting to be eaten. However it wasn’t bad, though the crackling took some effort to cut (especially with the rather basic knives – the kind that they might even let you on an aeroplane with), and some effort to chew, the meat was pretty nice.

But they could do much better, I know – I’ve seen it on their Instagrim. Yeah, I know, Instagrim photos means nothing but hope.

Finally, the gravy. It was good! It was arguably very good, a decent enough consistency and an enjoyable mix of bone marrow and red wine to the flavour – the latter can be annoyingly done, but here it was actually a gravy, and improved the roast. Yeah, the gravy was very good.

The Leytonstone Tavern in Leytonstoned. Sigh.

There are definitely more positive things to say about the roast dinner at The Leytonstone Tavern than negative. There is room for improvement though – for example, the Yorkshire pudding which had dried out too much, or the pork belly which had also dried out somewhat – and was somewhat tough.

It’s close to being an excellent roast dinner…it just needs some perfecting. 75% of each roast potato was superb, the gravy was really tasty and actually a gravy, the vegetables mostly good.

My accomplices eating beef and lamb enjoyed theirs too – I remember one stating that the beef topside was topsidey basic, but done nicely.

I did receive a minor telling off for not featuring the thoughts of said accomplices more, so I asked one to record her thoughts:

“If you’re saying that you listen to the peasants would like to speak on behalf of lord gravy it was some spanking li good gravy bone marrow and red wine was the PS3 resistance my potato was the size of a full jacket potato but it was ok the mac and cheese wait a cauliflower cheese was more like a mac and cheese but it was quite tasty that meat was too chewy I needed a sharpen knife I needed a sword a sword in a scabbard I like how I said above PS2 resistance and it said PS3 resistant and it keeps doing the same thing you should buy a house in his sister’s blocked him back you should buy the flat above her and ruined her life in a fun way over and out the peasants have spoken”.

I hope that helps. Scores around the table were a 7.70, a 7.85, an 8.00 and an 8.40. However it looks like I didn’t write one person’s score down. That’ll be another telling off.

My score is a 7.77 out of 10. Room for improvement but an admirably good roast dinner, in a really great pub – friendly staff, great beer, reggae music playing, nice terrace out front and the best roast dinner that I’ve ever had in Leytonstone. What more can you want? Well, maybe it taking less than 90 minutes to get there by public transport. Oh Harrow, why are you so rubbish? Oh Lord Gravy, why are you not willing to buy a vastly overpriced flat at the peak of the market?

I’ll be back next week. No plan yet – I cannot say that I expect to persuade anyone to go for a roast dinner with me in the heatwave. Pray for rain.