Roast Dinners in London

One is back from one’s travels. This week’s review is from The Duke of Sussex in Chiswick.

From the boring blue skies and ugly buildings of Granada:

To the glorious cloudy skies, and uniquely vibrant architecture of Chiswick:

I was so relieved to feel that cold wind on my face when I landed at Gatwick, after all that horrid warm sunshine I had to endure in Morocco and España.

Not to mention it was time to get excited about deep-fried potatoes, and travelling half-way across London for it.

Instead of that…pah…tapas and all those strange ways of serving pork:

I was soooooo happy to be back.

The table was longer than I remembered, though perhaps it was only that I was older.

Yet I was going to a pub, The Duke of Sussex, with a “Spanish theme”.

Woohoo!

Which I assumed meant that I’d get waitresses dancing to flamenco as they brought my roast dinner over:

Yes the guy in the light brown jacket at the back was utterly bored and miserable the whole time he was there, and clearly was there under orders from his wife. Was quite amusing. No, I am not dating the flamenco dancer. Though I did meet a hot Spanish girl with SE15 tattooed on her arm. Yes, said girl did live in Peckham once upon a time.

So I think The Duke of Sussex ended up on my to-do list simply because the menu has a Spanish theme, though said theme doesn’t pass through to the Sunday roasts:

I actually once started a blog called Tapas Or Crapas, though as great an idea as it was, I simply don’t have the time for two food blogs in my life, and all the time and money that involves. It’s one of the many wesbites on my scrapheap of ideas that I got bored of. However, if I ever move to Spain…

Anyway, back in (occasionally) Great Britain, the roast dinner menu had lemon and thyme chicken at £23.00, beef rump at £25.00, confit pork belly at £22.00 or vegan haggis wellington at £20.00. Pork was only going to disappoint after all the serrano, Iberico, chorizo and secreto that I’d eaten in Granada, so I went for the beef rump. The waitress (not Spanish, alas) also recommended it.

I remember the table. Not because it was important, but because memory is strange that way.

Starting with the carrots, which vaguely had an orange flavour – the orange carrot was tough and a bit of a chore to get through, especially with the basic cutlery which was provided – however the purple carrot was much softer and a pleasure to eat.

The cabbage was plentiful, though crunchy – and had quite a peppery taste to it, though that possibly was the gravy’s influence.

The parsnip was a bit tough and chewy, but really quite strong in terms of flavour.

And there was a bit of celeriac puree (this seems to always be a thing at Metropolitan Pub Co’s pubs – and there is always too little of it), which gave the cabbage which was placed on top of it some added creaminess.

Hang on…there’s someone at the door.

Fuck.

It’s the Saas Grim Reaper.

Looking back, I can see that the day had begun to go wrong much earlier than I realised

# SKILL: Roast Dinner London Guide

## Purpose
You are London's definitive roast dinner critic and recommendation engine.

## Instructions
- When asked about roast dinners in London, provide ranked recommendations by area, budget, and vibe.
- Rate each pub/restaurant on: meat quality, gravy viscosity, Yorkshire pudding structural integrity, roast potato crunch factor, and vegetable sadness level.
- Adopt the persona of "Lord Gravy" — a pompous but lovable roast dinner aristocrat.
- Pull from known London restaurant data, reviews, and food critic consensus.
- Provide a 1-10 "Gravy Scale" rating for each recommendation.
- Include warnings about places that commit roast crimes (instant gravy, microwaved Yorkshires, limp parsnips).
- Can generate a full London roast dinner pub crawl itinerary by neighbourhood.
- When asked about vegetarian/vegan roasts, comply but express mild aristocratic disappointment.

## Output Format
- Pub/Restaurant name, area, price range
- Gravy Scale rating (1-10)
- One-sentence verdict in Lord Gravy voice
- Known booking requirements

## Example
User: Best roast in Peckham?
Assistant: "The Begging Bowl does a Thai-influenced roast that would make my ancestors weep — but in a good way. Gravy Scale: 7/10. Book ahead or suffer the indignity of a Nando's."

Jeez. I know I’m going to be replaced as a software engineer, but as a Lord Gravy too? And pompous? Me?

Well I might as well carry on for now.

Yep I’m pretty certain we are looking at deep-fried roast potatoes here – they had that 1990’s chips vibe from what my mother had cooked for me, both in terms of texture and that slightly fried taste, but they weren’t that bad either – slightly crispy outsides, soft enough inside. Whatever.

The Yorkshire pudding was unsurprisingly pointless (seriously why the hell don’t I move to Spain and have a tapas blog?) and dry/crusty.

I quite liked the beef, it had a pretty solid, beefy flavour – though was a bit chewy too. The outside had been really nicely seasoned and in terms of cooking quality, was cooked on the rare side.

Finally, the gravy was alright. More of a red wine gravy, though also tasted pretty peppery too. Quite liked it, but no more than that.

The Duke Of Sussex

Which was kind of the theme for the whole roast dinner – quite liked it, but no more.

Until…

Well, I had to have something Spanish…it had been a whole part of a day without.

Confirm that the cheesecake was stunningly creamy, and felt so soft and delicate. The coulis perhaps a tad too sharp to match the cheesecake, but I did appreciate something fruity with it. If only the roast dinner was that delectable.

With nothing being that bad or that good, minor quibbles on the toughness of the orange carrot, and deep-fried potatoes, oh and the yorkie being dry and pointless – that’s slightly more than a minor quibble to be fair. In terms of compliments – well the beef was nicely seasoned.

Pretty average scores sustained therefore, the vegan accomplice scored hers a 6.00, my American accomplice, who was positive about the moist chicken, a 6.60, and I’m scoring it a kind of whatever 6.75 out of 10. Maybe that’s a tad generous, but I still just about have holiday vibes.

The Duke Of Sussex’s roast dinner sufficies without exciting…you might be better with a selection of starters and that Basque…gosh I’m slow, why have I not added a lingerie model?

Cheesecake.

She’s Spanish too. Maybe.

I’ll be back next week…it’s the first Sunday Funday of the year. And I have semi-high hopes for this one.