NSFW: Warning - this review may not be safe for work due to slightly suggestive artwork
Roast dinner 300! And I picked the Old Compton Brasserie in Soho.
Exciting, huh?

Yeah I kind of promised that I was going to give the political rants and tangents (rantgents?) a miss for a while, and thankfully there’s fuck all going on in politics to worry about right now, everything is super smooth, jolly and peaceful.
Anyway, we are here to celebrate roast dinners, and Lord Gravy reaching roast dinner 300 (ish).
Copy that?

Yep, copy that.
Old Copiers
Shall we have a look back at what has happened since roast dinner 250?
I’ve written 54 reviews. Yes, I did attempt a degree in Maths, until I discovered the delights of pretending to inhale cannabis to look cool (seriously you try spending a year doing things like let T: R cubed -> R cubed be a linear transformation defined by T(x,y,z)=(x−y,y+z,x+z). Find the matrix representation of TTT with respect to the standard basis), hence I do know that 300 – 250 does not equal 54, however I took Roast Dinners Around The World to another level.
4 roast dinner reviews in other countries! MAGA. I mean MEGA.

Though technically this is roast dinner 301, as there is one roast dinner from bank holiday Monday in August 2023 that I still haven’t finished writing. Oops. It’s definitely roast dinner review in the UK 300. Unless there’s a review that I’ve forgotten to add to the league table.
Oh well, let’s just pretend. Like anyone gives a fuck that I’ve had 300 different roast dinners in London anyway.
Want a fun fact about photocopiers?
The first successful photocopy made by Chester Carlson in 1938 featured the words “10-22-38 Astoria.” He used these words to demonstrate the potential of his new technology.
Copy that?

Nope, don’t copy.
Broken Copiers
Also since roast dinner 250, I had the 3rd best roast dinner at The Harwood Arms, rated 9.10. Also one of the most expensive at £62.50.
I’ve paid £30.00 or more for a roast dinner a fairly scary amount of times. Sadly, I’ve not been to Blacklock in that period.
Shock horror, I had some tragic roast dinners. This at The Green Goose in Bow:

And this at The Lock Tavern in Camden, which was a Happy New Year gift:

I deserve a trip to Blacklock, don’t I?
Want another fun fact about photocopiers? No? Good, because there aren’t any. I really struggled to find anything even vaguely titillating bar the early image, that wasn’t copyrighted or outright porn that probably isn’t copyrighted, but Google still lists my site in safe search mode and I’d like to keep it that way.
Even AI wasn’t much help:

Old Dreams Of Photocopier Romps
Anyway, fun fact time. I was booked for Blacklock in Canary Wharf for roast dinner 300.
Then my folks announced they were visiting London that weekend, and hence I then needed a table for 6 people, and Blacklock didn’t have a table for 6 people.
There’s not a lot on my to-do list that stood out as likely to be special enough for a round number roast – The Devonshire is impossible to book, despite the generosity of the quattuordecuple lock pension my parents ain’t going to be wanting to go to The Ned or The Connaught, or anywhere expensive (gosh, I initially wrote “spenny”…who am I). Rose & Crown in Clapham might be really good, but also they do roasts on Bank Holiday Mondays, I think, so one I’m keeping for such flexibility.
And then my Dad booked tickets for the Summer Exhibition at The Royal Academy, so I then needed somewhere in mum-friendly travel distances from there…which is where I found an earlier recommendation of Old Compton Brasserie from.
My father approved, as it had “Brasserie” in the name so therefore was apparently legally obliged to be a very good restaurant. In your dreams…

And in my dreams…oh to be re-incarnated as a photocopier. I’d certainly have more boobs and bums in my face than I do now, bar my commute to the office on a Wednesday.
Sorry, need a moment. I’ll be right back.

Hmmm, I am a photocopier.

Hmmm, life as a photocopier would be so sweet.
Hola, mi llamo es Xerox, eres muy hermosa.

Ohhh…
Old Oldies

£20.00 for a roast dinner in Soho? What is going on? That was probably my first impression of Old Compton Brasserie, other than it was a bit stuffy inside, with slightly odd lighting.
Our accomplices had been there a little longer, and one was just complaining to me about how bad the service was, when up pops an outrageously camp and jolly fellow called George, “well hello there darlings, what brings you to this town?”.
Roast dinner 300 might not be especially memorable for food, but it will be remembered for George, who was just absolutely delightful. He asked where we were from, and when “Hull” was mentioned, he snapped “GET OUT”. Wise.
And then whether we were celebrating anything (the people next to us were celebrating their dog’s birthday, I think), of which I reluctantly replied I was celebrating my 300th roast dinner, to which he was something like “yeah and I bet you have a spreadsheet detailing it all”, and I was like “I actually have a website”, “shuddup, no you don’t”, “oh yes I do”, “oh no you don’t”. He did offer to sing to me if I really had a website, but thankfully that didn’t happen.
Anyway, George was totally superb.
It being roast dinner 300, I went for pork belly – usually my favourite, priced at £20.00, though also there was chicken at £20.00 or beef sirloin for £24.00.
And then they put some house music on, turned the air conditioning on, and I was like…yeah I like Old Compton Brasserie. But would I enjoy the food?
Old Potatoes? Old Yorkie? Or Just All Old Jolly Good?

Well, it certainly looked better than last week’s – George gave my phone back to me as soon as he scrolled to that, and offered his sympathies.
Starting with the carrots, for the 300th time, these were soft and pleasantly buttery.
Likewise the cabbage was buttery – as a combination, they along with the gravy worked very well together.
I cannot say I was bothered about the sweet potato puree – perhaps it was there just to make the very dark plate look prettier? It very much tasted of sweet potato, but nothing else that I could discern.

300 roast potatoes were supplied, divided by 100 anyway. They were respectable I guess, a bit dry on the inside, a bit crispy on the outside. I’ve had worse…oh boy I’ve had worse, as anyone who’s read more than one review will attest.
The Yorkshire pudding really suffered from heatlampitis, as it had that Quaver texture inside, and was far too crisp – yet surprisingly I ate it all, with a bit of gravy it wasn’t too bad, but it was closer to bad than not.
The Grand Old Duke Of York

Three of my accomplices had the beef, and as my mother was with us, that meant I was also granted a slice of beef. Heavily peppered, I liked it sufficiently, even if it was still a tad earthy in texture.
But I’m more about the pork belly, and broadly speaking the pork belly was good. Plenty of it, one piece was a little dry, occasionally the crackling was crispy – but sometimes more rubbery. They certainly didn’t get to pork belly perfection, but it was good enough to please…and for just £20.00 in central London.
Hang on.

No, no, no.
Hang on. My accomplice had cauliflower (and, again, crispier roast potatoes…sigh). Apparently I had a tiny bit, but I don’t remember it, so…maybe go to Old Compton Brasserie if you care enough.
Finally, the gravy was pretty thick and married a slight sweetness to a slight Bisto-like flavour – without the overpowering salty yuck of Bisto. Which is pretty much me saying it was decent gravy, if not earth-shatteringly amazing. Extra gravy was forthcoming, though at 8 gravy boats we possibly sunk the ship. Well…if you offer bottomless gravy to people from t’ north…
Old Compton Brasserie
Old Compton Brasserie isn’t offering a life-changing roast dinner, nor really one deserving the 300th roast dinner label, but they do offer a respectable roast dinner, for just £20.00, in Soho.
Plus with exceptionally fun service, as long as you have George, of course. Beer choice was basic – Meantime is such a yawn in 2024, and I cannot say I thought much of the Rioja we had – better than Tesco wine, perhaps.
In terms of the roast, well, nothing excelled – but the buttery cabbage/carrots were joyful, the pork belly decent and the gravy pretty thick.
Downsides were mostly a heatlampitised yorkie, and somewhat dry roasties.
Scores around the table were fairly uniform, a 7.40, a 7.50, a 7.60, a 7.90 and an 8.00 out of 10.
My score is a fairly healthy 7.44 out of 10 – perhaps slightly bumped up by George, as I think other’s scores were too.
I’ll be back next week with more fun facts about photocopiers, and a review of somewhere a tad scary.

Summary:
Old Compton Brasserie, Soho
Station: Leicester Square
Tube Lines: Northern, Piccadilly
Fare Zone: Zone 1
Price: £20.00
Rating: 7.44
Loved & Loathed
Loved: Nothing excelled (except the service) - but the buttery cabbage/carrots were joyful, the pork belly decent and the gravy pretty thick. Also quite affordable for Soho.
Loathed: A heatlampitised yorkie, and somewhat dry roasties. Fairly rubbish beer choice.