As I am sure you are aware, my client, “Lord Gravy”, has been detained on a variety of spurious allegations, such as treason, disrespecting democracy and defamation of senior government advisors. These allegations are rejected forthright and wholesomely.
Having spoken to him in depth this week, he would like to make it clear that he fully understands the benefits of Brexit, and would like it stated on record that he regrets being duped by the liberal elite into voting for the expansion of the EUSSR.
Further to this, he regrets not voting Boris Johnson in the 2019 general election, and would like to clarify that Boris Johnson has his full support going forwards, and is positively enthused about the great glories ahead for the United Kingdom under the wise and enlightened leadership of Boris Johnson.
And of utmost importance, he would dearly like you all to understand his belief and understanding of the importance of Dominic Cummings as the driving force behind the United Kingdom government, and its success in going global.
Finally, he would also like to heartedly thank those who organised the “Free Lord Gravy” campaign. I am, however, not aware of such a campaign.
To the best of my knowledge, Lord Gravy is in good spirits and has been treated fairly whilst being in the re-education facility, though he does complain about the food. He looks forward to his re-education being complete and restarting his inspiring work (his words) whilst enjoying the excitement of Britain going global, and all the benefits that Brexit will bring.
We do not yet have a release date for Lord Gravy, though we are hoping that it will be before the end of 2020. You will all be pleased to know that he has committed to a much more positive appraisal of the government once he is released, whilst writing about the Sunday Roast options in London.
In the meantime, the government has kindly confirmed that they will allow this website to stay open to help encourage the re-opening of the economy, and have handed control of Roast Dinners in London to D & Goings Law.
D & Goings Law.
Where now, sailor?
Random roast review: The Carpenters Arms, Shoreditch