Want to give me a free roast dinner in exchange for a wondrous review about just how perfect your roast dinner offering is?
Then fuck off and stick some roast potatoes up your rectum.
But if you want to jump the review queue, are confident enough in your gravy-making abilities and psychologically capable of accepting the same treatment that everyone else does – warts and all, and nobody has yet escaped without any criticism (call it room for improvement, if I am feeling generous), then sure, drop me an e-mail with your proposal and I might prioritise reviewing your venue. Feel free to chuck in a quadruple vodka, a stripper and some crystal meth too.
1. The review would be anonymous. Happy to introduce myself after but not before.
2. It would be a Sunday of my choosing.
3. If the roast dinner is crap – I will be saying so.
I’ll consider collaborations with any interesting, weird, wrong and/or reputable brands, but be warned – read my writing style and understand that these are my honest feelings that I write here before considering your approach.
The integrity of my reviews is critical. I don’t care if I never, ever receive a free sprout – I just want this to be the go-to resource for roast dinners in London, and perhaps even a source of inspiration for those in the food industry supplying your Sunday lunch – and this cannot happen if my readers, who are my raison d’être, cannot trust the honesty of my writing.
But hey, if you are feeling brave, drop me a line.
I don’t blag, I don’t care about free stuff, I am most certainly not a marketing type person (dear marketing team at work, please take note of this) – I just want a laugh and hopefully to make some people laugh along the way too – so if you have an opportunity that you think might work for both of us, then get in contact.
And if anyone, I mean anyone (well, except racists, rapists and communists), fancies any form of collaboration – maybe a fellow blogger fancies doing a joint roast dinner review special, or hell, maybe one of you just wants some company one lunch…then e-mail me. I might tell you where to go, but I’ll try and do it nicely.
Also, if anyone knows of somewhere that I have to add to the list – especially if it is doing something unusual or imaginative, or you know of somewhere unusual for a roast dinner…or just something that’ll make for a great adventure (and story), then do get in touch.