Dessert Deli, Clapham Junction

What do you think of when someone describes themselves as a blogger? Do you think, “ooh they must be really interesting, really good at writing and have trustworthy, respectable opinions”, or something along those lines? Or do you think, “oh not another blagging bullshitter, desperately craving freebies in exchange for …

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Leman Street Tavern, Aldgate

You’d have thought that after the royal wedding, that would have been perfect Tinder time for even someone aesthetically challenged as myself. Especially seeing as Harry allegedly proposed over a roast dinner. Alas, October 2016 remains my most recent match. Just think, if I had a girlfriend, we could have …

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The Cow, Westbourne Park

It’s your favourite right-wing Nazi media outlet back with another burst of brilliance. Yes, welcome to my very, very vaguely Eurovision-themed roast dinner review of The Cow in Westbourne Park. Whoa – straight into gear – no long-winded paragraphs of trolled nonsense before you finally find out what you are …

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Punch Tavern, City Of London

Last Sunday I had the worst roast dinner so far – a total abomination thanks to the gravy. But whenever something is utterly incompetent, like Boris Johnson, this seems to bring out the linguistic genius in me…like Boris Johnson. I’d had a few drinks, and couldn’t wait to start writing. …

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The Islington Town House

I’m back! I hope you haven’t missed me too much. I’ve been in Spain, pretending that I’m still able to get an erection whilst listening to Spanish women going “drrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrdrrdrdrdrrdrdrdrrdr”. There is nothing sexier than the sound of Spanish women rolling their r’s. A couple of my friends keep trying …

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